Welcome to “The Greatest Advice Column” from The Greatest Generation. To submit your own questions to Marty please email Marty@shenanigang.com
Dear Marty,
What’s a good New Year’s resolution?
I don’t know, kid. How about making sure to never find yourself waiting in the cold for hours on NYE like an idiot just to watch the ball drop. I mean honestly what are those people doing? This year it was raining! Could you imagine that? Standing outside soaking wet and shivering for hours just to watch a ball slowly come down a pole while you count backwards. I can’t think of a dumber thing to do. You shouldn’t be allowed to vote if you stand in Times Square for the ball drop. Every NYE if you look around and realize you are not in Times Square then I would say you are off to a pretty decent start to the year.
Aside from that, picking a New Year’s resolution all depends on what you hate about yourself and what you want to change. You know what you need to fix. You don’t need me for that. For me, I have the same resolution every single year. Be a little nicer to people. It’s an attainable goal although I don’t always accomplish it. At least it’s not some lofty BS goal like go to the gym everyday. Those types of resolutions end up flopping and only make you feel worse about yourself. As long as I’m a tiny bit nicer to people every year then I consider the year to be a success.
Basically, don’t be an asshole, dumb ass.
Tired,
Marty
The Greatest Advice Column From The Greatest Generation
Authored By Marty The Mean
Please send all questions to Marty@shenanigang.com
