Murray Hill, NY – After two and a half years of going to see Raul biweekly at “Murray Hill Barbers”, Tommy Abruscuto was shocked to find out that he was not his barber’s best friend.
During his second haircut of the month, Mr. Abruscuto was taken by surprise when his barber and best friend mentioned that he was getting married this weekend. Mr. Abruscuto, who was currently mid-fade, was suddenly and uncharacteristically speechless. How could his best friend be getting married and he wasn’t the best man let alone even invited?
When reached for comment, Mr.Abruscuto had this to say:
I truly don’t get it bro. Raul is my fuggin’ dude. I mean he knows how to shape me up without me saying a word. I tell that guy everything. I’ve told him about both times I’ve had sex”
While Raul is being sensitive to the situation he made sure to point out that every white kid in Murray Hill believes that he is their best friend. He hopes that they all find the companionship and acceptance that they deeply desire and he promises to do a better job of introducing his patrons to one another in the future.
For now, the men of Murray Hill walk around with fresh cuts and empty souls.
