Welcome to “The Greatest Advice Column” from The Greatest Generation. To submit your own questions to Marty please email Marty@shenanigang.com
Dear Marty,
I just read that Jeff Bezos is getting a divorce and there is $137 billion on the table. That’s a hell of a lot of money. What’s a fair split?
Divorce is ugly, kid. Almost as ugly as my ex wife. Kidding. That was low hanging fruit. Don’t worry though, she can take it. Just like she took half my money. Ahhhh. Sometimes I surprise even myself.
Anywho, in regards to divorce, I think there needs to be separate rules for very wealthy people and normal people. For normal people, who cares. Split the money. Whatever. You’re all miserable and poor.
But for really rich people, and we’re talking billionaires here, I just can’t seem to wrap my head around an even split. Listen, I believe that Jeff Bezos’ wife should walk away from this and be set for life. If for nothing else, just dealing with that extreme of a type A personality alone warrants a large sum of money. I can’t imagine what it would be like to live with such a determined person. Yuck. But how much are we talking here? I mean we’re pushing billions. If the judge gave her 1% of the money then she would still come away with $1.37 billion dollars. It’d be pretty hard to argue that she needs more than a billion dollars to maintain a good life. Again, she deserves to never work another day in her life. But becoming a billionaire while not inventing Amazon seems like a pretty fair trade to me.
Tired,
Marty
The Greatest Advice Column From The Greatest Generation
Authored By Marty The Mean
Please send all questions to Marty@shenanigang.com
