Welcome to “The Greatest Advice Column” from The Greatest Generation. To submit your own questions to Marty please email Marty@shenanigang.com
Dear Marty,
How many dates does it take to be officially dating someone?
To be totally honest, I get this question a bunch. Haven’t answered it yet because, frankly, I never had a good answer. But I figured it out.
You’re officially dating on whichever date the girl pays for. Before that, you’re just taking her out as a kind gesture. But once she plops that credit card on the table then it’s over. “I got this one” directly translates to “we’re dating now”.
Once that happens then it is solidified. She’s officially spending both time and money on you now. And that’s entirely what relationships are made of; time and money. Thus, you’re going steady.
I know the “bases” change from generation to generation but I’ve figured out a way to use them to make sense of all this. Now back in my day first base was kissing. I’m sure today first base is just when you send someone a Facebook or something. Here’s what it should be:
First base: She enjoys the food or drinks and doesn’t flinch when the bill comes
Second base: She reaches for her wallet but you tell her to stop before her hand reaches her pocketbook
Third base: She physically takes her credit card out and insists on splitting. She gives two to three believable rebuttals before acquiescing
Homerun: She pays. And now you’re dating
Tired,
Marty
The Greatest Advice Column From The Greatest Generation
Authored By Marty The Mean
Please send all questions to Marty@shenanigang.com
