The new year is approaching and you know what that means – New Year’s Resolutions! This is the year you’re going to get into shape, that is of course, if you can find a quick and easy way to do so.
For years we’ve been told that getting into shape takes two steps: working out and eating right. Well guess what? If you enjoyed taking steps you would already be in shape. No! Recently, I’ve found a quick and easy way to get in perfect shape by the time summer rolls around.
All you need to do is simply be cast in a Marvel movie. It’s as easy as that! That’s literally it. It’s one easy move.
No more being nervous about going to the gym or embarrassed about not knowing what you’re doing. The studio will pay for a private gym and personal trainers to basically work out for you. You just have to show up and move your arms occasionally. Gravity will do the rest!
No more paying exorbitant prices for healthy food options. The studio will hire personal chefs to live with you and cook a regimeted diet. They’ll even tell you what time you should be eating. All you have to do it show up and move your mouth occasionally. Gravity will do the rest!
No more feeling unmotivated and like your goal isn’t worth it. The studio will pay you millions of dollars to continue going. All you have to do is go to a bank, ask to take out $1000 dollars, and put that in your pocket. Gravity will do the rest!
It’s all this easy! Forget those crowded gyms. Forget coming home from your job with the awful work-life balance and scrounging around your apartment for anything you can cook up. Just become a Marvel superhero today and you’ll be jacked in no time!
