There’s something serious going around these days. Coworkers and roommates seem to be falling ill in droves. An extremely contagious and gross flu is spreading like wildfire and it’s taking people out of commission for close to a full week. I can’t stop thinking about how much of an absolute shame it is to get the flu…on account that it’s currently winter.
Sure the flu is disgusting and horrible, but I think it’s best to think about the positives. Loss of appetite? Throwing up for hours on end? Um can you say hello summer bod. One quick little flu and you’ll be ready for bating suit weather.
That’s why it’s just such a waste to get the glorious flu during the winter. I mean who is even going to realize all the progress I’ve made towards my goal weight under all of these baggy sweaters. A real travesty. If I’m going to be barfing my brains out in the lonely darkness of my home bathroom, I also better be catching all of the stares when I stroll up to the community pool.
It’s just that the world can be so unfair sometimes. Last week, when my roommate was on his knees, doubled over the toilet, scream-vomiting into the bowl, I couldn’t help but think about how much it looked like he was praying. Praying that this wonderful flu would return at a time when people would actually notice.
