If you clicked on this link I’m guessing it was just to find out who Jon from Guitar Center is. I guess it kind of sounds like a guy who went internet viral for an inane reason like Alex From Target or the Walmart Yodel Kid and you just wanted to make sure you were fully up to date on the newest craze. Or possibly you’ve also recently been to a Guitar Center and ran into Jon, the walking sex symbol? Probably the first though. For those of you in the first camp fear not because this is just a totally random dude that just so happened to have stolen my heart. Let me back up.
Recently, I visited a Guitar Center. Before this trip I don’t think I’ve been inside a Guitar Center in about 15 years and boy do I feel like I’ve been missing out. This place has everything. I mean EVERYTHING. It’s a lot like The Cheesecake Factory. They got way more then just cheesecakes ya know?
Upon checking out, I was greeted by Jon, the community manager. And that was it for me. That was the exact moment that I started planning the rest of my life with this man. I mean I could not take my eyes off of this dude. And it’s not like he was so incredibly handsome or anything. It was just that if you were to build a Guitar Center Community Manager in a game of Sims it was this guy. I mean he had everything. I mean EVERYTHING (like a Guitar Center or a Cheesecake Factory). Eye brow piercing. Chain wallet. Spiritual bead bracelets. Arrowhead necklace. A USB plug in his pocket at all times for no apparent reason. I was in an absolute trance. Could not stop staring. I mean even the fact that his name tag stated that he was the “Community Manager” gave me butterflies. That is the most “Guitar Center-esq” job title of all time. What does that even mean? Nothing. It means nothing at all and that is why it was perfect. He was like a tweet come to life.
Now you may think from my tone that I am making fun of this guy but I can assure you that I am not in the slightest. This dude looked like he had been dressed by a professional pick up artist. Anyone who says peacocking does not work is a damn liar. This guy was a puzzle that I wanted to solve. I needed answers.
But here’s one thing we’ll never get the answer to. What came first, Jon’s airtight personal brand or the job at Guitar Center? Was Jon just playing the role he had been given? I’m not sure we’ll ever know for certain. But what I am certain of is that I’d like him to play a role in my life.
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