The gauntlet has been thrown! The fight of the century! The fight we’ve all been waiting for! Drum roll….
Justin Bieber vs. Tom Cruise???
Late last night, seemingly out of nowhere, Justin Bieber challenged Tom Cruise to a boxing match. This is the age we live in now. A time where anyone can challenge anyone else to a fight and then a response is warranted. A few years ago these types of challenges were generally just twitter fingers from internet warriors but as combat fighting has increased in popularity we are seeing more and more of these “feuds” come to fruition.
Quick sidebar – not for a second do I believe that Justin Bieber actually wants to fight Tom Cruise. It’s actually more likely that they were in the same room when this was tweeted and wanted to have some fun. But regardless if this was done in collaboration or not, Bieber has new music on the way and this move was made solely to orchestrate some buzz.
Anyway, in a world where this challenge is real, let’s discuss who would win. When this challenge was issued it seemed like the entire world unanimously agreed that Bieber does not want that Tom Cruise smoke. People referenced how Cruise has done all his own stunts in the Mission Impossible movies, how he trains with Marines, and at the end of the day how he’s just fucking Tom Cruise. We were all in agreement: Tom Cruise in a landslide victory.
But, I’m not convinced of that.
Justin Bieber is younger and has a reach advantage. Not to mention he’s sneaky athletic and seems to pick up sports seamlessly. Finally, he was Tom Cruise level famous during the internet age. Sure Tom Cruise was the biggest star in the world at one point but that was before the world was watching stars’ every move. Beiber reached the same level of fame but had to live in a fish bowl. Constantly dodging paparazzi, slews of teen girls, and public scrutiny. That hardens a person. He’ll have no issue dodging old Tom’s jabs.
Okay so let’s say you’re still not convinced. Let’s say you still think Beiber is a wussy pop star. Well, then allow me to present you with my favorite video from 2013. I’ve watched this video over 1200 times. It’s what made me a forever Belieber. This video is undeniable.
Boy that London pap sure is lucky Bieber had two of the strongest body guards in the world holding him back or he would been in a world of trouble.
I hope that this fight is actually real because when the oddsmakers favor Tom, I’m going to hammer the line on Bieber. Stay out of this Cruise, it’s a real mission impossible.
