I have my first friend’s wedding this weekend and it’s black tie. Not optional. And for this, I despise them. I’m kidding. But even if I wasn’t I don’t think they read the blog. And for THAT, I actually despise them.
Anyway, what genius came up with the idea for the tuxedo? I’m not saying that sarcastically. This guy must have been a genius. You mean to tell me that this guy just had to put a line down the pants and change the jacket collar in order to convince everyone that was his suit was fancier. That’s insane. I did my research (spent 35 minutes in a Men’s Warehouse) and I legitimately could not tell the difference between some of these tuxedos and just regular suits. For real, they sell a “modern” tuxedo that looks more like today’s styles by not having the line down the pants or the weird collar. HEY ASSHOLE, THAT’S JUST A SUIT!
You know how people make fun of ~high fashion~ for making shirts extra wide or pants extra long and calling it trendy? The tuxedo has to be the best example of high fashion becoming rule of law. What an absolute scam.
So anyway, yesterday I go back to the Men’s Warehouse to pick up my tux and i’m fired up. I’m feeling like a big idiot who is about to overpay for a suit that makes you look like a waiter as soon as you take the jacket off. I get in the dressing room to do the final fitting and it’s a big ordeal. I mean there are about 100 pieces to this thing. Plastic bags and hangers are flying everywhere. Finally, I step out of the changing room and the forty year old women working the store goes:
“oh how handsome you look!”
Eh, maybe tuxedos aren’t so bad.
