I could write a whole different article on things I hear that make me angry, but here are four things I heard today that made no sense.
“Morning!”
Yeah? What about it?
I’m as guilty of this one as anyone, but I’m trying to hold myself accountable. You see someone early in the office and as you pass by, you give a smile and deliver a “morning.” Benign – Yes. Sensical – no.
I get that “good morning” has been shaved down to simply “morning,” but it literally means nothing. Why don’t you just say “day” or “office” instead? If I were trying to tell a woman she’s pretty, I wouldn’t shoot her a smile and say “face.”
“Bleshu”
Another one I was guilty of, at least until high school. Magister Rowan pointed this one out.
When someone sneezes, you say “bless you” or “God bless you,” not “bleshu” or “guhbleshu.” Why have we warped this expression to sound like a sneeze itself? Or someone who lost their dentures?
“I Could Care Less”
For the life of me, I cannot wrap my head around this one. If you’re trying to convey total indifference, shouldn’t you say, “I couldn’t care less?”
Saying that you could care less sheds no light on the situation. I immediately stop focusing on what you’re saying, and instead shift my thoughts to the Nature vs. Nurture debate.
“Tomorrow Never Comes”
Yes it fucking does. If today is Tuesday, tomorrow is Wednesday.
This is something your father says to you after you graduate college without a job, and you move back home and fuck around all day.
