It’s Thursday, Jan. 17 – here’s what to watch the rest of the week
1. Boogie’s Back!
This is going to be fascinating, for a number of reasons. From the moment that DeMarcus Cousins joined the Golden State Warriors last July, it was clear that the two were completely using each other.
When he signed his one-year $5,337,000 contract, Boogie gained a platform at the apex of the sport on which to show off his rehabbed Achilles for half a season before hopefully signing a mega-contract with someone this coming offseason. Meanwhile, the Warriors nabbed a top-ten talent in the league (when healthy) for the NBA equivalent of a few gumballs and a Band-Aid. Even if Cousins never played a game for them, it was a risk that was more than worth it for a team that was always going to be the favorite to win another championship – with Cousins or without him.
Cousins will see his first NBA action in 357 days against the Clippers in Los Angeles Friday night. If he’s even a fraction of his old self, this could be exactly the kick in the ass this Warriors team needs to make their fourth title in five years a foregone conclusion.
2. No Help for Harden
58. 57. 38. 43. 42. 32. 38. 44. 43. 41. 45. 41. 39. 35. 35. 47. 32. 50.
Those are each of my test grades from my 12th-grade calculus class. And in what can only be described as an incredible coincidence, those are also the point totals for James Harden in each of his last 18 games. Harden has taken the Houston Rockets on his back and led them to a 13-5 record in that span, during which his teammates have been about as helpful as a public defendant. Chris Paul – all $160 million of him – has been out since December 20th. For perspective, the government was still up and running then.
Last night, here was the Rockets’ starting five: James Harden, Eric Gordon, PJ Tucker, Austin Rivers, and Gary Clark. No, Gary Clark is not Gary Clark Jr.’s father. He’s a 24-year-old, undrafted player coming off the bench for the Rockets. He’s 6’ 6”, and he started at center for the Rockets last night. You read that correctly.
3. The Timberwolves Continue To Be A Farce
I have to admit it – I love watching the Timberwolves humiliate themselves. I find their young, two-man core to be an absolute joke.
Karl-Anthony Towns is what you’d get if you took Anthony Davis and somehow mixed him with Michael Cera. He plays with absolutely no edge and defends to about one-fifth of his capabilities. Just ask Joel Embiid if KAT shows up in big games against the best centers in the league.
And don’t get me started on Andrew Wiggins. Wiggins is so allergic to defense that he carries around an EpiPen. His contract is also amazing – it’s an absolute albatross at five years and $147.7 million, and it only kicked in as of this season. My favorite part of this is that Glen Taylor, owner of the circus known as the Minnesota Timberwolves, sat Wiggins down before he inked his deal and made him promise to work on all facets of his game if he was to get the extension he was looking for. Who does that?
Taylor then had Wiggins play a game of CandyLand and pinkie swear to be his best friend.
4. Turkish Government: Enes Kanter Is A Terrorist
Turkish prosecutors are seeking to extradite the lovable seven-foot baffoon currently playing center for the New York Knicks. They have accused him of being a terrorist, citing his ties to Fethullah Gulen, the exiled Muslim cleric on whom the government has place blame for the failed coup of 2016.
First of all, everyone knows the only terrorist who ever played in the NBA was Latrell Sprewell.
Secondly, all this madness is sad. The NBA is a far better place with Kanter in it – check out some of his LeBron tweets over the years.
But he doesn’t just hide behind 140 characters on Twitter. The Knicks recently traveled to London for a Jan. 17 match-up there with the Washington Wizards. Kanter refused to go, saying that he feared an assassination attempt on the part of Turkish president Recep Tayyip Erdogan. But it sounded much better the way that Kanter put it to reporters – “I’m not going because of that freaking lunatic.”
5. This Isn’t Your Father’s Playoffs
I’m not the kind of NBA fan who roots for the historic and big-market teams. I don’t need a Lakers vs. Celtics finals match-up every year. But can we admit there are going to be some reeeeeal uninteresting teams in the playoffs this year?
The top three teams in the East? Toronto (33-12), Milwaukee (31-12), and Indiana (29-14). Melatonin.
Out West? The Warriors have become the Patriots – they win every year. And just when you think the wheels are coming off, they beat you and everyone else again. Right behind them in the conference is Denver – tell me what you know about Jamal Murray?
Look, we’ve got a long way to go until the playoffs. But if they end up anything like how they’re looking today, wake me in May.
