If you were blessed with a rare mix of freak athletic ability and a work ethic to match then congrats you may just find yourself at the top of the draft board during this year’s NFL draft. But wait, oh no, the top of the draft board is where all of the bad teams are. You don’t want to play for a bad team do you? Here are the top techniques to purposely plummet your own draft stock:
Cause a scene on public transportation
This will show that you are unstable and unrelatable. Teams don’t want to add chaos into their locker room and you’ll be sure to start dropping down that board.
Please note that this move may actually make it more likely that you go 3rd overall as this behavior is not only expected but encouraged in New York. You’ll fit right in.
Get Buzz Going That Football Isn’t Your Main Focus
When teams are drafting a player they are insistent on getting someone that only cares about football. You can’t have any other hobbies or interests when you are a professional football player. If you want to take a drastic dip on the draft board then you’re going to have to promote your new interests. Start a Twitch and get super into Fortnite. Drop a rap album and promote your Soundcloud constantly. Start an Etsy page and sell super cute tops made entirely from sea shells and recycled plastic.
Tell Everyone You Are Shorter Than You Are
Most people, athletes or not, lie about how tall they are. You need to lie about how short you are. You are going to need to do whatever you can to minimize your stature. Crouch. Crawl. Shave down the bottom of your heel. And whatever you do, under no circumstance should you ever be over 6 feet tall.
