Lately, I’ve been seeing more and more people show up to work looking trendy as hell. It used to just be one or two of the company extroverts but nowadays it seems like tons of people are bringing serious heat when they’re picking out their fit for the day.
I absolutely respect the shit out of this. I love seeing everyone looking fresh and rocking their unique brand of style. But, at the same time, I simply can’t wrap my head around how they can pull this off. And I’m not talking about how they stay fresh day in and day out. I’m more concerned with how they get any work done.
One time in eighth grade I wore this shirt that I thought was so fricken cool that I couldn’t think about anything else all day. No wait, scratch that, all week. Just spent a full school week pondering what all my peers were going to say when I rolled in on Friday with my sick graphic tee. Friday came and I was buzzing. Couldn’t wait to pop my jacket off. Then I spent the next 8 class periods just moving around in my chair trying to give everyone a shot to peep my t-shirt at every angle. Even walked slowly through the halls to give passerbys a chance at all this glory. I just couldn’t stop wondering what everyone was thinking. Imagining the conversations that were going on in private circles about me. I mean they must have my name on the inside of a bathroom stall by now, right?
It was a pretty regular shirt. It wasn’t controversial or that outlandish. I just thought it was so fresh that it made me giddy. This is why I can’t even fathom the concentration levels of people who come in decked out head to toe. We’re not talking t-shirts. We’re talking sweet ass pants. Trendy ass shoes. All sorts of accessories from hats to jewelry. To me, that’s no longer an employee. That’s a human billboard. Can’t expect a billboard to get any work done. Just let them sit there while the rest of us walk by.
If ShenaniGang ever grows to the point where an office is needed, it will prohibited to dress cool. Can’t be paying any trendy looking underperformers.
