The Head vs. The Heart
Indianapolis Colts at Houston Texans (-1.5)
Saturday, Jan 5 – 4:35 EST
The Head:
As you already know, after starting 0-3, the Texans reeled off nine straight victories. Here are those nine teams, and their respective records coming into those games:
Indianapolis Colts (1-2)
Dallas Cowboys (2-2)
Buffalo Bills (2-3)
Jacksonville Jaguars (3-3)
Miami Dolphins (4-3)
Denver Broncos (3-5)
Washington Redskins (6-3)
Tennessee Titans (5-5)
Cleveland Browns (4-6-1)
The only teams with a winning record during that stretch? Miami and Washington, whose seasons ended up like Lola at the end of “Copacabana.” Outside of that stretch, Houston’s only two wins came against the Jets and the Jags, and they finished 11-5. Oh, and the team that ended Houston’s nine-game streak? The Colts.
Indianapolis, meanwhile, blitzed teams after a 1-5 start to finish 10-6. While their competition wasn’t overly daunting either, highlights included a 23-0 shutout of the Cowboys as the centerpiece of their four-game winning streak to end the season. The Colts needed every one of those games to get into the playoffs. They’re scalding hot.
Andrew Luck has gone from throwing tennis balls to an MVP candidate in a span of eight months. Marlon Mack has emerged as the ground threat the Colts haven’t had in more than a decade, and T.Y. Hilton is actually healthy – I consider a sore ankle healthy for him. The defense finished 11th in total yards per NFL.com and is consistently an underrated squad.
This Texans team is too top-heavy. After Deshaun Watson and DeAndre Hopkins on offense, and the (admittedly nightmarish) Watt/Clowney/Mercilus trio, who’s making a play?
Pick: Colts +1.5
The Heart:
The Texans? They’ve won three playoff games in their history. One was against a Raiders team led by someone named Connor Cook. The other two were against the Bengals. In a related story, Marvin Lewis wants to know if you’re going to finish the rest of your sandwich.
Houston doesn’t beat anybody. The city doesn’t play in Super Bowls, it hosts them.
Pick: Colts +1.5
Seattle Seahawks at Dallas Cowboys (-2)
Saturday, Jan 5 – 8:15 EST
The Head:
Sure, the Cowboys went 7-1 during the second half of the season. They also went 7-1 at Jerry World, where this game will be played. But what’s an even better statistic? Since their last Super Bowl win in the 1995 postseason, the Cowboys are 3-9 in the playoffs and haven’t made it past the divisional round. This team folds like Ikea furniture in January.
On the flip side, this Seahawks team was supposed to finish somewhere around 6-10, but decided on the inverse instead, backed by an old-school offense boasting the NFL’s best ground game. I expect that to neutralize Dallas’ fifth-best rushing defense, which is the strength of this football team. Beyond that, the Cowboys aren’t scary. Russell Wilson and Bobby Wagner are.
Pick: Seahawks +2
The Heart:
These are two of the most obnoxious teams in the NFL, with two of the most obnoxious fanbases. I hope they find a way to tie.
Jason Garrett was supposed to be sent out to sea on a burning funeral pyre this season, but can now boast about being the NFL’s premier coaching cockroach now that Marvin Lewis is applying to Coldstone Creameries. Garrett will lose this game in humiliating fashion, and Jerry Jones will offer him a contract extension.
Vegas is on shrooms. Both of the underdogs win on Saturday.
Pick: Seahawks +2
