A .500 week. I sure as hell didn’t impress anybody but I narrowly avoided making myself look like a fool. It’s like every sexual experience I’ve ever had.
Let’s get back to work.
Week 6: 7-7
2019 Season: 28-31
THE LOCKS
Los Angeles Rams at Atlanta Falcons (+3)
Sunday, Oct 20 – 1:05 EST
No matter how bad the Falcons are, they’re still capable of performing well at home. Which is kind of bizarre because their stadium fills up about 75% on gameday, and 40% of that is opposing fans. I doubt they’ll have issues with the LA Rams contingent though.
I don’t bring this up to say that you should take the Falcons. Quite the opposite – I’m bringing this up to give you a little slice of the Vegas thinking. The Falcons only have one victory on this season, but it was against the Eagles in Atlanta.
Jalen Ramsey probably won’t play, but it shouldn’t matter. The hole that is the Atlanta Falcons’ 2019 season has no bottom, and they will lose this game by more than a field goal.
Pick: Rams -3
Miami Dolphins at Buffalo Bills (-17)
Monday, Oct 14 – 8:15 EST
Do I have the nutsack to pick the Miami Dolphins to cover for one of my locks? You’re goddamn right I have nutsack to pick the Miami Dolphins to cover for one of my locks. Hey, they did it last week with the help of a little dash of Fitzmagic. And he’ll be starting at Buffalo on Sunday.
This will be an ugly game. But I think 17 is too many points.
Pick: Dolphins +17
New England Patriots at New York Jets (+9.5)
Monday, Oct 21 – 8:20 EST
If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it. The Pats have now covered in every single game, minus the first match-up against the Jets, where a late pick-6 by the back-up QB devasted bettors everywhere. Bill’s here to help us get our revenge.
Pick: Patriots -9.5
AND ALL THE REST
Kansas City Chiefs at Denver Broncos (+3)
Pick: Chiefs -3
Arizona Cardinals at New York Giants (-3)
Pick: Giants -3
Houston Texans at Indianapolis Colts (-1.5)
Pick: Texans +1.5
Minnesota Vikings at Detroit Lions (+2)
Pick: Lions +2
Oakland Raiders at Green Bay Packers (-5)
Pick: Raiders +5
Jacksonville Jaguars at Cincinnati Bengals (+3.5)
Pick: Bengals +3.5
San Francisco 49ers at Washington Redskins (+9)
Pick: 49ers -9
Los Angeles Chargers at Tennessee Titans (-2.5)
Pick: Titans -2.5
Baltimore Ravens at Seattle Seahawks (-3)
Pick: Seahawks -3
New Orleans Saints at Chicago Bears (-3.5)
Pick: Saints +3.5
Philadelphia Eagles at Dallas Cowboys (-2.5)
Pick: Eagles -2.5
