Finally, a good week. Sure, I got burned in some areas. The Browns are fraudulent the highest degree and I understand that now. The Bears have big issues as well – I think Matt Nagy might be in some serious trouble (Kitchens too). But I was all over the Broncos. You could smell that one coming a mile away.
Let’s build off this momentum.
Week 5: 9-6
2019 Season: 21-24
THE LOCKS
Seattle Seahawks at Cleveland Browns (+1.5)
Sunday, Oct 13 – 1:05 EST
I’m done with the Browns, and maybe it’s not even the players’ fault. This team is just straight up horribly coached. Freddie Kitchens does not have his team prepared for games and it shows – the penalties, the stalled drives, the red-zone inefficiencies. The Baker Mayfield Kool-Aid was delicious for a while. I’d never tasted a flavor like that before, but now we all know it stains your teeth and kills your sperm count.
On the flip side, the Russell Wilson/Pete Carroll tandem continues to overperform. They weren’t supposed to be any good this season. They weren’t supposed to be any good last season. And yet here they are. Wilson is a one-man wrecking crew, and he will feast on exactly the kind of naïve, undisciplined defense that the Browns will be trotting out on Sunday.
Insert your favorite “Kitchens” joke here. Freddie Kitchens looks like he’s been spending more time in the pantry than the film room. The Browns look like it too.
I have no idea how the line is only Hawks -1.5. Jump on this early before it moves.
Pick: Seahawks -1.5
Detroit Lions at Green Bay Packers (-4.5)
Monday, Oct 14 – 8:15 EST
The Aaron Rodgers – Matt LaFleur pairing has been absolutely fascinating thus far. On one hand, these two clearly already hate each other. Or at least Rodgers hates LaFleur. And statistically speaking, Rodgers has been no better than an average quarterback this season. God help you if you drafted him in fantasy.
On the other hand, the Packers are winning, and that’s what it’s all about right? They’re 4-1 after beating Dallas at Jerryworld, though you could make a good (and correct) argument that it’s been more about the Packers’ much improved defense than LaFleur’s new system.
The Lions, they’re no different than last season. They absolutely blew their season opener and allowed the Cardinals to escape with a tie. Then they sat back and watched the Chargers and Eagles beat themselves in Weeks 2 and 3 respectively. If you think I’m being bitter, feel free to go rewatch each of those games. And then they lost in Week 4 to the Chiefs in an admittedly close game.
Aaron Rodgers eats the Lions alive, and Stafford’s never at his best in Green Bay. I have a feeling that the Packers are going to hit a mid-season slump, but I think they hold it off for another week.
Pick: Packers -4.5
Tennessee Titans at Denver Broncos (-2.5)
Sunday, Oct 13 – 4:25 EST
Let me tell you something about the Tennessee Titans. They lose to everybody, except once a year they’ll beat a top-3 team in football. Last year, they lost to the Dolphins and Bills, and absolutely creamed the Patriots 34-10. This year, they’re gonna lose to the Broncos and Buccaneers and probably beat the Chief Week 10.
This Broncos team is bad. Real bad. The perfect amount of bad to beat the Titans.
Pick: Broncos -2.5
AND ALL THE REST
New York Giants at New England Patriots (-16.5)
Pick: Patriots -16.5
Carolina Panthers at Tampa Bay Buccaneers (+2)
Pick: Panthers -2
Cincinnati Bengals at Baltimore Ravens (-10.5)
Pick: Ravens -10.5
Houston Texans at Kansas City Chiefs (-4.5)
Pick: Texans +4.5
New Orleans Saints at Jacksonville Jaguars (-1.5)
Pick: Saints -1.5
Philadelphia Eagles at Minnesota Vikings (-3)
Pick: Eagles +3
Washington Redskins at Miami Dolphins (+3.5)
Pick: Redskins -3.5
San Francisco 49ers at Los Angeles Rams (-4)
Pick: 49ers +4
Atlanta Falcons at Arizona Cardinals (+2.5)
Pick: Falcons -2.5
Dallas Cowboys at New York Jets (?)
Pick: They keep pulling the line to readjust it. Just take the Cowboys to cover
Pittsburgh Steelers at Los Angeles Chargers (-6.5)
Pick: Chargers -6.5 (I can’t believe I’m picking the Chargers to cover)
