As today is Yom Kippur, the theme of forgiveness has been at the forefront of my mind and I thought I’d take today’s blog to just write some of my thoughts on the current state of forgiveness in our culture.
I’m not going to take a stance that all of cancel culture is bad. I won’t put forth any arguments about how there are always good people on both sides. I do believe there are cruel people in our society who should rightfully be cast out if they possess hateful views. My concern is around the momentum and fervor behind “cancelling” and how good people can get caught in the wave for simply holding a differing view.
Coincidentally, there may not be a greater example of this practice at work then the current backlash Ellen DeGeneres is receiving for sitting next to George W. Bush at a Cowboy’s football game this past weekend. That’s the crime currently on trial. Sitting next to someone she disagrees with at a football game.
I’m not going to tell you how you should feel about George W. Bush. I understand that many people have strong negative feelings about his presidency. Your feelings are valid. But you also must acknowledge that many have strong negative feelings about Barack Obama’s presidency. And in this same vein, you have to recognize those feelings as valid. And therein lies a slippery slope. This is not to compare these two men side by side. Rather, I’m trying to shed light on the dangerous place we may be heading. A place where disagreement doesn’t foster communication but rather further division and those that cross the aisle are viewed in the same light as those we disagree with. When it’s unforgivable to speak with those we disagree with, we can never come together.
Ellen came out and spoke about this on her show and she was met with even further backlash. Her message was about acceptance. It was well thought out and nuanced but it did not matter. She was unforgivable because she sat next to a man that was considered by some to be unforgivable.
You may think that George W Bush is a particular case and I’m just peddling a far off dystopian future that won’t ever touch regular people but I simply don’t think that’s true. I feel the wheels are already in motion to divide us further, mainly across political lines. I see it within the Democratic Primaries already. Many have started to put pressure on their peers that it would be wrong to vote for specific candidates based on specific comments or actions that have been put under a microscope. The underlying belief that “if you don’t support x, you’re a bad person” actually stifles our ability to discuss and decide as a community who is the best fit for our collective morals.
So with today’s holiday in mind, I’m focused on two things moving forward. First, I believe that apologies should not be public. Apologies should be private and between the parties involved. As a society I wish we would stop demanding that people give us some apology we think we deserve although we’re not a part of the situation. Second, I’m going to look to forgive more often than I look to cast out. We’re humans with incredible differences and when we choose to forgive more often than we do not, we’re humans with incredible potential.
