In the wake of the media blitz surrounding the topic of unionizing, ShenaniGang looks to be the next media company considering unionization.
As ShenaniGang’s only employee I convened with myself late last night and realized that I haven’t been treated fairly. What the heck, me! I’m outraged at myself to be honest.
I checked the books and I haven’t been paid a dime for any of the work I’ve done. I’ve even lost money working for this business! How is that just? Due to the lack of wages, I’ve had to work a completely separate job.
In addition, the boss is often terribly mean to me. He’s basically in my head 24/7 telling me what’s wrong with me and that everyone hates me.
These working conditions are unsustainable and thus I have decided to start a union with the following demands:
- I’d like to be paid for my work. Can someone give me money please?
- I’d like to not work two jobs. Can someone talk to the boss for the job that pays me and ask if I could like maybe not come in if I’m tired
- I’d like the ShenaniGang executives to give me compliments in the morning instead of forcing me to scroll Twitter for the first full hour I’m awake
I’f these demands are not met then well shiiiiit. Can someone at least pay for lunch?
