I didn’t want to write about this. This wasn’t the blog that was scheduled to come out today. It’s overplayed and honestly I’m a little late (even though the event happened only 4 days ago). BUT, as the newly elected mayor of the internet, I just can’t sit in silence as important takes going unsaid. My constituents are counting on me.
If you don’t know what this article is referring to based on the title then congrats you must lead a fulfilling life in which you don’t use the internet to compensate for some other hole in your life. In that case, don’t read this article and just carry on taking care of your lovely wife and adoring kids or something? For the rest of you, I’m clearly talking about the boxing match that occurred between internet heavyweights KSI and Logan Paul. To quickly summarize the event, the promotion was overdrawn, the rap diss tracks were a sham, the fight was pretty good, and I followed every second of the action. Also the takes were repetitive. In the aftermath of the fight, I couldn’t help but notice the absence of two major points:
- This is the end
- This is just the beginning
1. This is the end
This is the natural end to the internet. It has arrived so it’s time we accept it. I’m not even mad about this. This is the ending that we deserved and I’m just glad that it’s all come full circle.
I mean think about it. Take yourself back to the beginning of the internet. You’re in your parents basement. Or living room. Or wherever the family computer was kept. You’re covered in some sort of orange snack dust be that Cheese Doodle or Cheetos. You’re dripping in puberty. And oh what’s that on the screen? Well it’s the beginning of the internet so it must be cat videos right? WRONG. It’s backyard wrestling. Just a bunch of real Americans who found the family camcorder and decided to beat each other’s asses. Just some bare-knuckle, chair-wielding, top of the pool shed, fun for the whole family. The first time you truly looked at your computer screen and mouthed “how is this free?”. This, and only this, is precisely where our dear internet began. And thus, it is more than appropriate that this is exactly how the internet will end. We will fight and we will fight and we will fight some more and then we’ll look around, bloodied and battered, and think “well I guess that’s it. We’ve gone as far as we can go with this thing. We had a good run but now it is time to take our ball and go home”
2. This is just the beginning
While this is the end of the internet, it’s only the beginning of internet fight culture. KSI and Logan Paul are not the first public figures to sanction a boxing match but they have drawn up the roadmap for how to pull off an event of this magnitude in the internet age.
Listen, they made a ton of money doing this. A TON. And at the end of the day both of their brands are bigger than ever. Thus, imitators are imminent. I don’t know the exact amount of money and followers each gained from this experience but I’m pretty confident that most people would be willing to get punched in the face a few times for it.
So what are we all in for?
A lot of manufactured beef. People will be calling each other out and fabricating drama to mutually benefit them and their “adversary”. In some ways, this is going to really suck. The internet will be even faker and full of more clickbait than ever before. But, on the bright side, this might eliminate twitter fingers. It was very easy to talk shit without consequences back in the day but it’s going to be pretty hard to act tough when there is a possibility of being swept into a legit boxing match. Trolls beware.
Overall, if nothing else, this is going to result in a lot of shitty idiots signing up to get punched in the mouth in hopes of holding onto their moment of fame. Fuck, I guess I’m watching.
