I’ve seen 113 billion tweets about how Jeff Bezos should spend his money. He could solve world hunger or pay every single worker a quarter of a million dollar salary or buy condos for the homeless. There are so many suggestions but not once have I seen someone ask why the fuck he would do that?
No, I’m serious. Why would he do any of that? It’s insane.
Before I start ranting, let’s get the obvious out of the way. Yes, it would be a good thing to end world hunger. Wow I’m a hero for saying that just like you.
But there are so many things to discuss before he just gives away 113 billion dollars, no? Like let’s take a minute before we make a 113 billion dollar decision.
First and foremost, which cause? When Jeff Bezos gives away the money, who gets it? Does one cause get it in full? Do a few major causes get a large chunk? Do millions of different causes get a little piece? Who decides? I ask this earnestly because it doesn’t seem like it would be Bezos call. If he was like “hey I really care about animals, I’m giving away my billions to animal shelters” there would be an enormous backlash. But wait, I thought you wanted him to give it to a good cause? Oh you meant the cause that you specifically care about. Gotcha.
The whole reason to make money in the first place is so that you don’t have to listen to anyone. That’s everyone’s dream. No boss telling you what to do. No alarm clock telling you when to wake up. Complete freedom. Literally everyone in the world is chasing this. No? Okay then don’t let me catch you in the club screaming “can’t tell me nothing” when Kanye or Lil Nas X comes on. How can everyone be playing the same game but also demonize the dude that is currently in first place? Let me repeat it one more time:
Everyone is trying to make money so no one can tell them what to do but everyone wants to tell the guy that made the most money exactly what to do.
I understand that when you have 113 billion dollars you can give away 112 billion and still be a billionaire. But let’s see you give away 99% of what you’ve made. I get it. Bezos scale is different than yours but don’t think that losing 99% of his wealth wouldn’t feel the same.
I know how corny it can be for a person with an average ass salary to be defending a man with so much money but it’s just the principle. Listen, I’d like more money too. I live in NYC where you pay to ride the subway. You actually have to pay to do that. If you described it to an alien they would consider it torture and gaslighting all in one.
This just isn’t the way to solve the world’s biggest problems. When there is a problem you need someone to come up with an innovative way to fix it. Kind of like how the postal service was a broken system and then someone came along with a better system. Man, whoever did that should be worth 113 billion dollars.
Oh and on that topic, be honest, if Bezos solved world hunger and dissolved Amazon in the process, would you be a bit mad you couldn’t get your 2 day shipping anymore? Like you’d be happy for the people who are no longer hungry but also you wouldn’t be able to control that little part of you that was annoyed your life became a bit more inconvenient. That kind of makes you shittier than Jeff Bezos, doesn’t it?
