So the NYC marathon was this weekend and it got me thinking: is there anything worse than coming in second place?
I’m pretty anti-marathon. Can’t understand why anyone would want to participate. Seems absolutely grueling. But that’s a pretty widely held opinion so I don’t need to harp on it. What I’m more concerned about is the poor bastard that comes in second place. I mean I’d rather bleed out of my nipples than come in second place in a 26 mile run.
It’s just so goddam impressive to come in second place and not one person on earth wants to hear you talk about it. Could you imagine accomplishing something that basically no one else on the planet can do and yet it’s so wholly uninteresting. It would be literally unbearable to hear someone talk about coming in second place in a marathon. I’m bored just thinking about it. That’s insane.
Finishing in second place in a marathon is probably as unlikely as like curing polio but if you told me about it I would just be angry at you for wasting my time. Here’s my advice, if you’re going to come in second in a marathon just throw the race. If you tell me you finished a marathon I’ll shoot you a polite “congrats” but if you tell me you came in second place I’m going to hate your guts forever.
