Machines are whizzing. Dumbbells are clanking. People are sweating. And I’m at the gym just thinking about communism.
Oh no. Is this where I do it? Is this where I turn from silly blog filled with inane thoughts and observations to hardcore political activist. Mama there goes that man!
Let’s start with some simple definitions. As defined by Webster’s dictionary Communism is:
a system in which goods are owned in common and are available to all as needed
I’ll skip the history lesson, mostly because I have no idea what I’m talking about, and get right to the comparison. Much like having a gym membership, for a small fee to the establishment, one has equal access to all the resources made available by the establishment. The weights and the machines are shared commodities available to all.
I think the vast majority of people are against communism. Whether that’s due to historical examples or growing up in our American democracy, communism is not a popular system. But possibly the best argument against communism exists in owning a gym membership.
Sharing a gym with strangers is often a nightmare because people have literally zero consideration for those around them. You’ve got people taking six different dumbbells for themselves at once like no else needs them. You’ve got people sitting on machines for indefinite periods of time because they’re distracted by their friend text group chat. You’ve got people blocking access to the weights because they are checking themselves out in the mirror. And the whole time you just have to be polite and patient with these assholes? No way. I loathe sharing with strangers.
In the communist culture created by Planet Fitness I have to make sure that I re-rack the weights when I’m done using them and trust that my fellow gym goer does the same. But they never do. They treat the weights like we treat global warming. Someone else will have to deal with this problem later but right now I don’t have to.
Do I have an ending to this rant? Nope. Is this going to just seem like one big flex that I’ve been going to the gym? Probably. But that’s free speech baby!! Democracy wins again!
