Wednesday is the least football day of the week. Football starts on Thursday and takes us through Monday. Even Tuesday gets some football remnants as we get in our last talking points and grievances from the past week. But not Wednesday. Wednesday’s are quiet. Wednesday’s are a break from football.
Eh fuck it. Who are we kidding? Here’s my blog on my list of the cockiest players in the NFL.
Being cocky is part of the game of football. I don’t think it’s a bad thing. I actually think it’s a necessary quality to succeeding in the national football league. Like to actually believe you are good enough to compete with the best in the world and keep up is wild. In order to think you can out-run and out-muscle some of the most pristine physical specimens on the planet you’d have to be a lunatic. Or like I said, very confident. Thus, it really must take a heroic amount of confidence to stand out amongst the sea of confident athletes.
This topic popped into my head because lately there has been a lot of chatter about the out-spoken star cornerback of the Jacksonville Jaguars, Jalen Ramsey. Guy’s a quote machine. But to be perfectly honest, I don’t think he’s the cockiest player in the NFL. He’s up there but there are definitely some dudes whose cockiness is going under the radar. That seems like an oxy-moron but it’s not. It’s your fault that you don’t see how cocky they are. They are being as cocky as can be. No one is reporting it. So here I go:
3) Stefon Diggs
This guy is good. But is he celebrate after every single catch good? Eh not sure. Well too bad because that’s what he does.
I mean I get that it’s exciting to celebrate but also it’s his job to catch footballs. Like that’s exactly what he’s supposed to do. You don’t see me flexing every time I send an email that starts with “nice to e-meet you”. NO! Because I’m always e-meeting people and its always nice!
Also, I think the type of person who would celebrate for just doing what they get paid to do would also probably be a person who is bad at their job. He’s good at it. Just saying that’s definitely what a bum would do.
Anyway, he’s cocky, you get it, but how did he reach that next level? How did he make it onto the coveted first ever Annual Cockiest Players In The NFL List? Two words: Minnesota. Miracle.
Ya’ll remember that play. Of course you do, it was incredible. And also everywhere. But what the heck, here it is again:
Okay, still dope.
But do you see that pose he strikes at the end of the video? Helmet off, chin up, snarled face, hands stretched out. Yeah he held that pose for the next twenty minutes. I’m not exaggerating. He held it during the celebration. And then he held it on the sidelines. And then he held it during the post-game interview. And then his teammates left and he just held it for a group of cameramen. And eventually the cameramen went home to their families and Stefon Diggs just looked up and held it for thousands of empty seats. And if it weren’t for the fact that he had to play another game the following week, I believe he’d still be holding that pose to this very day. Cocky.
2) Travis Kelce
Ahhh bet ya didn’t expect this guy’s name on the list? Not poor little Travis Kelce. Leave him alone. Nope, this blog is fair and Travis Kelce is ripe for the #2 spot on this list.
This dude lovesssss himself. We don’t talk about that enough. If Kelce could change the rules of football he would make it mandatory for someone to follow his routes with a mirror so he could watch himself catch the ball.
Okay, but other than being in love with himself is this guy really that bad? Like what else could I have on this guy? hmmmm. I’m going to go with the fact that he starred in a dating reality show during the prime of his career. huh? Yep. Logo drop.
Well why in the world would he do this? He wasn’t looking for love that’s for sure. He’s a rich and handsome (I’ll say it) professional athlete. That’s legitimately the most desirable thing you can be. So if not love than what? The only answer here is fame. But this truly makes no sense. He was in the prime of his career and was already getting serious notoriety. All this move does is risk his reputation and take his mental away from the game of football. Now I’m not saying football players need to think about football 24/7 but this was clearly the move of someone who isn’t really interested in football at all. He’s just interested in being famous. Football was the first medium that gave him fame but if his looks will do it then he can quit getting hit in the head by enormous linebackers. Okay when it’s put that way I guess I understand.
But I’m not done just yet. Because there is one final five letter word that eats at Kelce every single day: GRONK. Oh boy does this guy want to be Gronk and oh boy it’ll never happen.
He’s just not Gronk. He’s good. He’s just not Gronk good and being number 2 is driving this guy insane. I believe he keeps an earpiece inside his helmet that allows him to listen to the broadcast during his game just so he knows every time he is compared to Gronk. Sorry dude you’re always going to be number 2 at best. I bet you’d even be mad to find out you were only number two on this list.
1) Golden Tate
His first name is Golden. Let’s be honest, he was always going to be number 1 on this list.
Listen, this man taunts the defenders every time he’s headed towards the touchdown. Okay fine. Anyone can taunt a defender and in fact many do just that. But when it comes to snatching the number 1 spot on this list, and when it comes to Golden Tate, the difference is how many taunts this man can fit into one touchdown run. It’s a damn work of cocky art.
This taunt by Golden Tate 😂😂 pic.twitter.com/MPuM0APmb0
— Red Zone Hive (@RedZoneHive) September 30, 2018
Catch. Spin Move. Juke. High Step. Pause. Turn Around. Look Em In The Eye.
Dirty. Cocky. Golden.
That’s the list. Better luck next year to the rest of you meek sheep.
