Forget eating Chinese food out of the container. Forget catchphrases. There is not a more overused TV sitcom trope than the characters being regulars at a food establishment. Friends. How I Met Your Mother. Cheers. Saved By The Bell. Old and new, they all have their “spot”.
And due to the aggressive pervasiveness of TV sitcoms in popular culture, I think most of us grew up hoping that one day we would also be a regular at a coffee shop or a bar. A place where everyone knows your name and order. Big dreams.
Well let me tell you all something. I’ve become a regular at my weekday lunch spot and it’s an absolute nightmare. I’m a simple man. I eat basically the same thing every day. Thus, it didn’t take long for them to know who I am and what I order. You may think “oh wow how convenient”. Nope. What’s convenient? I save the two seconds saying what I want to order? Yeah, what now? They save me two seconds and now I have a world of awkwardness. Do I make small talk? Am I supposed to slowly build a relationship with these folks? I mean they are nice people who I appreciate but we simply have nothing in common outside of this sandwich. It’s like going on a bad first date every day.
Some people yearn for this relationship with their local community. Not me. Not because I’m cold-hearted but I just don’t want to hear about anyone’s day anymore than I want to share the details of my own. Let’s keep it surface level. If you open up to me, it’ll surely bleed into the sandwich. Now I’m eating lunch and tasting your stress. Can’t have it. Lunch is the time of day that I pretend nothing exists outside of that sandwich. It’s sacred.
Basically, I need to switch it up. I don’t want to be a regular anymore. Also, by the way, there’s no such thing as being a regular at a bar. That’s just called being an alcoholic. Doesn’t sound that cute anymore does it?
