You might have been wondering where I’ve been the past two weeks. Probably not, but you might have been. I was laying low, surveying the field. While suckers were continuing to throw their money at the wall, I was watching from the shadows. And now finally, like Batman, I reemerge when the world needs me …
So I had a bad opening week to kick off the season. Whatever. I told you which NFL teams you should bet on, not that you shouldn’t vaccinate your children. Okay, sorry. I’m just a little irked after the NFL’s opening weekend. I had a few good calls (Raiders, Colts, Cardinals), and some pretty bad …
Welcome to the 2019 NFL season – it’s already hilarious. One game in, the Bears have scored zero points other than the three that came off the foot of their kicker. Antonio Brown’s Raiders stay culminated on zero snaps. Jerry Jones has more mouths to feed than a soup kitchen. And also welcome back to …
I wanted to start a new series called “How Much?” It’s similar to would you rather, but it identifies the monetary compensation necessary to do something absolutely egregious, typically in your office. Enjoy! How much would someone have to pay you to shit your pants in the office? Here are the conditions: It’s not just …
It’s Thursday, June 12 – I was traveling last week and wasn’t able to hit you with your weekly NBA knowledge. Luckily, in my stead, my editor was here to talk about Drake and Tyler the Creator. The Raptors woke up this morning with the 3-2 series lead, and the best player in the world …
Durant dribbled to the right elbow, ready to hit his friend and former teammate Serge Ibaka with some of his patented shake-and-bake dribble moves. Earning himself some space, Durant would’ve likely popped vertical for an 18-foot jump shot, releasing the ball from ten feet up in the air – Durant’s release point is just one …
It’s Thursday, May 30 – and it’s the day every basketball fan has been waiting for. It seems like forever since we’ve had the NBA action we crave, but now it’s finally back on the biggest stage. Your patience is about to be rewarded. I speak of The Starting 5’s return to finally discussing current …
It’s Friday, May 24 – apologies, we’re a day late. I’m still too bitter to watch any of the Eastern Conference Final, but I’ll return to real-time coverage when the Finals begin a week from now. In the meantime, let’s take a look around the rest of the league. 1. Are These Some of the …
It’s Thursday, May 16 – I’m still too sick to my stomach to talk playoff basketball after Kawhi’s miracle hoist on Sunday. I haven’t watched it, I haven’t read about it, I haven’t bet on it, and I will continue to shun it in all forms. All I’m concerned about sports-wise right now is Bryce …
It’s Thursday, May 9 – and I’m eating my words. Here’s what to watch for. 1. I Owe Kawhi An Apology I’m sorry, Mr. Leonard. I’m sorry that I didn’t think that you could keep up the impossible, ridiculous, unconscionable reign of terror that you have unleashed upon the Philadelphia 76ers. After the first two …