Happy Lozenge Season! Wohoo we made it!
Huh, what’s that? You’ve never heard of Lozenge Season? Well that’s because I just made it up but now it’s definitely a thing. Umm let’s say it goes 10/1 – 10/15. Yeah that works. Sweet!
Okay what led us here? Quick hitter, go:
First of all, seasonal shit is super overplayed. Companies have been convincing us to buy more of their products by adding “seasonal” flavors for a while now. And it only like kind of makes sense. Like I understand that pumpkin is a seasonal fruit but pumpkin spice isn’t a real thing. It’s kind of like how Valentines Day is just a made up thing to sell cards. Pumpkins are Hallmark fruits. But I will not spend this blog talking about pumpkin spice lattes. That would be just as basic as drinking them. It’s such an overplayed topic that even jokes making fun of it suck. For this, I want to thank the internet. The internet took pumpkin spice lattes through the full circle of irony to the point where they don’t even get brought up anymore. Dope. But now we have a seasonal gap in our calendars and we need to fill it appropriately.
Quick side bar – I was in Dunkin Donuts the other day and saw that they are selling Iced Apple Cider. Legit a laugh out loud funny way to try to compete with Starbucks. I mean maybe they’re actually good. I won’t try them though. I enjoy being snarky way too much. Anyway moving on to the next point.
People switch into Halloween mode the SECOND the calendar says October. How does this make any sense? Halloween happens on the last day of the month but somehow it owns the whole month. Nay. I protest. The way I see it Halloween can own the second half of October at most and that’s being generous.
Okay now we’re all caught up and on the same page. Intro, thesis, supporting points. Now time to bring it home with the conclusion. Shoutout to my 9th grade English teacher Ms. Lane.
We need to occupy October 1st through October 15th and I declare that it is officially Lozenge Season. That’s the truest representation of these few weeks. The weather has just begun turning on us. The first person in your office has begun to sniffle. It’s spreading. If you truly want to represent the flavor of these weeks well it’s none other than a bag of Hall’s Cough Drops. Cherry. Honey Lemon. Or even Assorted Citrus Flavors if you got it like that. I don’t care. Pick your poison.
Sure go ahead and scoff. I can hear your scoffs from here. You all have some very loud scoffs. But mark my words, by this time next year you’ll be walking into your local Starbucks demanding a Venti Lozenge Spiced Latte. Happy #LozengeSZN!
