I’m 26 And I’m Back At My School And I’m 26

Did I mention I’m 26?

Every year, my college friends and I visit our alma mater for a football game – how sweet! I’m with them as we speak. None of them are reading this though. What a bunch of dick heads!

Anyway, it’s a nice concept that we all still get together but 26 is the absolute worst age to be back at school. It’s complete limbo. It’s the senior year of being an alumni. You graduated too long ago to go get drunk back at your old stomping grounds but you’re too young to be standing around playing cornhole outside of the stadium with one beer in your hand. People want you to act responsible but not lame. Don’t act like a cop but come on man have your shit together. It’s all very confusing.

Maybe we should have waited a few years. Then we can meet back up here in our thirties when some of us have some money and can make this a nice event. I mean how the hell am I going to take a red solo cup to a vat of jungle juice? I have a job gosh darn it! I don’t have to drink bud light. I’m extremely rich (compared to students with college debt). First round is on me! But also like I have rent due in a few weeks so if everyone could just Venmo me back that’d be great.

26 is weird. I’m going to try to find a middle ground. I’ll still do keg stands but this time I’ll answer work emails while upside down. I’ll still buy shitty plastic handles of vodka but this time I’ll put it on the corporate card. I’ll still go out at night but this time I’ll shower first.

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