If You’re At Work Today You Are Allowed To Steal Stuff

It’s Friday July 5th. The entire country got the day off for Thursday July 4th. So if your job made you come back in to work today instead of giving you a long holiday weekend then you are completely justified in stealing whatever you want. It’s like the purge, there are no rules for one full day.

America is confusing because we overwork ourselves, don’t take our vacation days, and are checking email 24/7 but then it comes to our holidays and we are sacred about them. We shut it down no questions asked. Even in the week leading up to the holiday we start to slow down. It’s the only time that Americans take their foot off the pedal. So that makes Friday a bit tricky. The holiday is over so some might think we should return back to our old American workaholic ways. No, absolutely not! Give it a rest. No one is buying anything today so making your employees come in is less about business and more about exerting power.

So if you’re in the office today go ahead and steal whatever you want. Steal some nice pens. Grab an assortment of office supplies. New desk chair? Sure! And fuck it, if you can handle the printer go ahead and roll that out too. Bam, now you have your own new home office. Quit that job that made you come in today. You’re an entrepreneur now.

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