By Zack Cuevas
Below, I’ve gathered some of the Best Picture nominees and if I think they’ll take the prize or go back to their bags of money and million dollar homes empty handed.
Black Panther
Straight up, Black Panther needs no introduction. Seriously, you must be a real big dumb dumb living under a rock with subpar internet if you missed out on Black Panther. Black Panther, the eighteenth film in the Marvel Cinematic Universe and the last movie before Avengers: The One Where Everyone Dies, was significant for a number of reasons. One, it grossed 1.3 billion dollars — a huge take for a movie in general, let alone a superhero movie. Two, it featured the largest ensemble of black actors to ever be put together outside of a film about slavery. And three, it dropped the hottest film soundtrack since The Bodyguard. But, all of the visual flair and diverse cast members can’t really hide a mostly by-the-books superhero movie.
Will it win?
It’s a hail mary toss through a pretty small window. Not likely.
BlacKkKlansman
It’s good to see Spike Lee in the running. While “Do The Right Thing” ranks high in my own personal movie ranking, there’s no denying Spike has had a bit of a rough patch in these last couple of years. But from the ashes of flops like Oldboy and Chi-raq comes BlacKkKlansman, an adaption of the 2014 memoir of the same name. BlacKkKlansman comes at an important time in our lives, and watching the parallels between the racial tensions that took place in the 70s and the ones that take place today was intense. Spike unravels a wild (and true story) of a guy who just wants to end racism by infiltrating the KKK. It’s full of humor and “wokeness” but I thought it wasn’t doing anything particularly interesting behind the camera. It definitely had an indie feel, warts and all. However, all can be forgiven because it also features the love of my life, Laura Harrier, and she’s worth the price of admission alone.
Will it win?
No, but Laura Harrier should win Best Actress. What a dream.
A Star is Born
One of the hottest memes on the internet this past summer turned out to be a really good movie. Like, really good. Bradley Cooper directs and stars in this movie about an alcoholic redneck who falls in love with a broken Lady Gaga. A tragic love story resonates throughout time, and this film is a testament to that. I mean, this is the fourth remake of this movie! There’s some really good acting on display from both Rocket Racoon and the Party Monster. Gaga proved she can act on American Horror Story, and she proved it again here. There’s not much cringe here at all (unlike her album Joanne — I mean, seriously, who wanted that?) and the songs are actually really great. And no, you can’t look at how many times I’ve listened to “Always Remember Us This Way”.
Will it win?
Move over Tony Bennett, Gaga and Bradley Cooper are the hottest power couple on the cinematic block. And while I don’t expect it to win Best Picture, I am pulling for Gaga in the Best Actress category.
Bohemian Rhapsody
You ever watch a movie and walk out thinking “that was average” only to find out that it won a Golden Globe for Best Drama and was nominated for Best Picture at the Academy Awards? Queen is a great rock band and Freddy Mercury will always be one of the greatest singers to ever live, but seriously, why is this here? I’m sure the writers room was like “hey, remember that popular Queen song? Lets show its origin story” and then they did a line of bath salts and started gnawing at their own reflection in the mirror. Add a couple of concert recreations and you have Bohemian Rhapsody. It’s a biopic that rewrites history and glances over the excesses of the time. Hell, it barely gets into Freddy’s sexuality. I wanted to see people do coke off of gold plates balanced on the heads of little people at an orgy, God damn it!
Will it win?
Though it may have won the Golden Globe for Best Drama in a tremendous upset, I think this might have the worst odds on this list. My recommendation? Start a Queen playlist and belt it out in the shower. It’s about the same experience.
The Favourite
One of the biggest surprises this year was The Favourite. I actually confused this with the Mary Queen of Scots movie starring Margot Robbie and boy am I glad I did. I did not expect so much lewdness and I love lewd period pieces. I didn’t know I was so into Georgian era fashion (at least, I think it’s Georgian). Funny, crass, surprising, and very well acted. Emma Stone and Rachel Weisz do so well together as rivals and as Olivia Coleman’s playthings. This was a genuine surprise to watch and I’d likely revisit once I’m done with my erotic 18th-century poetry binge. I got these books at the local library, ok?
Will it win?
As historic as it was for Emma Stone to be the first Hawaiian woman to win an Oscar, this is an entry that might be too bizarre for some.
Roma
Director Alfonso Cuarón can do no wrong. Just look at his filmography — Children of Men, Gravity, Y tu Mamá También, the first good Harry Potter movie (that’s right baby, it’s Prisoner of Azkaban don’t @ me). To me, Roma is the only real “serious” movie on this list. Set to the backdrop of Mexico in the early 1970s, the film made me feel sad and deep and emotional, and I got to feel these feelings on a deeper level because it’s the only Oscar pick that’s streaming on Netflix right now. That’s right, I didn’t even leave my house for this. There’s no excuse to not watch this film. It’s a good one. Go watch it right now. Well, after you’re done reading.
Will it win?
Yeah, I’m thinking it’s got the best chance. Netflix’s clout game is finna explode.
Vice
Rounding out the “that was nominated?” list is Vice, a film which transports us back to the early aughts where politics were fun and whimsical. Remember when the leader of the free world almost choked on a pretzel and died? Good times! Christian Bale is back being crazy again (did he ever really stop?), this time gaining 40 pounds to play Satan himself, Dick Cheney (and before you get up in arms — those are Bale’s words, not mine. Personally, if there’s anyone I want by my side during the revolution it’s Dick “aim for the duck and hit a buck” Cheney). Lots of good performances in a rather OK movie, but I gotta say, I prefer watching Adam Mckay’s other films like the Big Short or Anchorman…or Anchorman 2.
Will it win?
Nah, but it’s crazy what Christian Bale does to his body. I mean, really, is that healthy?
The Green Book
I didn’t watch this. Didn’t see it. Nope. It’s on my list but I haven’t got around to it. Looks good though.
Will it win?
Probably not. My guess is the critics didn’t watch it either.
Well, I hope this helps you trick your coworkers into believing you’ve seen all of these movies and you’re extremely cultured.
